I wanna see Sam this Friday.
Dan won't be here.
My mom is working.
Even if I take the bus, I wouldn't be able to stay for his concert.
FUCK. THIS. SHIT.
I am SO upset right now.
Cool, I won't see him until Thanksgiving.
I am going to make my parents feel terrible.
Seriously, I don't care.
Dan said he would drive me down to Eugene a few times.
He's done it once so far, and that's because my step brother was in need for some tires.
Other than that, Dan doesn't feel like it.
My mom is working.
If I had my damn license I could drive there myself.
Too bad they don't trust me enough to do that.
Seriously? I'm raging.
So upset.
Things like this really tick me off.
I'm almost 17.
I've flown across the damn country multiple times.
I'm in school without you around every single day.
I can do WHATEVER I want.
Really. I can.
So just let me be.
I don't ask for so much that you need to slap NO in my face when I ask for something like this.
I'm not going to sit and wait until you think I'm ready, because that's bullshit.
I'm going to keep pestering you until I get what I want because then I get it earlier than what you had planned for and that's what I damn straight want.
I honestly don't care that it stresses you out.
You need to let me grow the fuck up and stop treating me like I'm unable to take care of myself.
I'm more independent than you think.
I'm pretty sure both of you had more independence when you were 13 because you damn HAD to.
Just because I have the privilege of still being catered to doesn't mean that you need to treat me like I don't know how to handle myself.
God damnit.
I can drive down to Eugene.
Fuck you, I can buy a train ticket without you even knowing.
I have the whole fucking plan.
You know that PayPal account with a little less then $200 we got from selling the Wii and games?
Tell me mom, how often do you check that balance? Never?
Exactly.
So I could buy a Max ticket to go to the train station and buy myself a ticket online to Eugene.
I really fucking could.
It's too bad that the latest bus back is at 5:45pm. Looks like I'll have to spend the night with Sam!
You don't fucking realize how much I could be doing.
And how fucking FINE I would be.
I'm not going to die.
I'm not going to go do an insane amount of drugs or get into prostitution or get pregnant.
Are you worried that I'm going to have sex?
Trust me, I don't want a fucking baby.
But I'm also not going to repress my HUMAN FUCKING EMOTIONS.
That's what gets me.
People were having babies at 14 in your time, believe it or not. That was acceptable.
And they had successful families.
I can handle having sex because I know if I'm emotionally ready or not.
I'm not selling myself off to a douche bag.
I love this man. No, I don't know the future but I'm not going to live my life waiting for my "soul mate" to roll around. That's pointless.
Seriously. I'm tired of you holding me back in stupid ways.
You probably won't let me ride the Max to Portland.
Now, I admit Portland is fucking scary.
Is it sad to say that you probably won't even let me ride the Max to another location in Hillsboro?
Yeah, that's pretty fucking sad and it's true.
You don't know how many plans I've thought out about doing whatever I want.
I have money. As long as I have money, I can do whatever I want.
And I can easily get money.
Hell, I know your PIN code for your debit card.
What's stopping me from withdrawing all of your money and taking off?
It's stupid, but I can do it.
Fuck.
FUCK.
I'm just so angry.
I love being a kid and not having responsibilities. But I would ALSO love to act just a LITTLE like my age.
You know, 17? Because I'm practically there. That's not that young.
Fuck you.
I'm so pissed.
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