Such is life.

I'm sick of school.
I don't like the long hours in the same place, snacking on unhealthy food to curb my hunger until lunch time, by which then I'm already full on pretzels and candy.
I'm always tired. I just want to sleep.
I'm sick of high school. It's the same thing every year.
I would like a break.
I want to sleep with no thought of obligation on my mind.
I don't like making myself go to sleep so I won't be near passing out the next day at school.
I like staying on Facebook and talking to my boyfriend until 2am and then passing out from exhaustion.
It feels satisfying.

I guess I just miss the summer. This past summer was quite nice.

And I think I'm trying to make myself be someone who I'm not.
But that happens all the time in high school, right?
Still, though. I don't know how I feel about everything.
I'm confused.

I would like to go to my dad's house now.
I miss him.

Maybe I don't want to grow up.
But at the same time I do.
I want some change in my life.
A part of me wants to have a stable job that doesn't put too much stress on me.
Then I would go home at a decent time and have my own time.
No work to do.
I would pay my bills and earn my own living.
It's nice having money handed to you, but I don't feel as satisfied as I would if I earned things myself.

I get too tired though.
I think my POTS is getting worse.
I hope I'm not developing EDS in addition to my worsening POTS, but my bones are starting to pop in odd places.
When I stretch out my knees and then relax them, my knees almost always crack.
My lower back has been popping quite easily, simply by me laying down at points.
Today, I was sitting in my chair. When I maneuvered myself, it felt as though two vertebrae right at the base of my neck popped against each other, like when you crack your knuckles. It was uncomfortable.
I suppose I should start to exercise, because I know it'll help.
But I'm just too tired to do it.
Chronic fatigue is an annoyance.

Such is life.